Saturday, December 22, 2007

Unchanged

I met my friend Yvonne after three years yesterday. Though years younger than me, she and I clicked right from the first time we saw each other. She was at the time with a guy she thought might be "the one". Some days when they had an argument she was not quite as sure and wondered if she move out of Justin's apartment and be more independent, seek out different life experiences after all she was only twenty two.

When she asked me for an opinion, I always told her to follow her gut because I did not know what else to say. As I got to know her better, I began to feel protective about her like an elder sister might - Yvonne was exceptionally bright and articulate. I would hate for anyone or anything to dampen her joie de vivre or eagerness to learn.

When she called me and said she was back in town and wanted to meet for lunch I was overjoyed. For some reason, I felt a twinge of disappointment at how little she had changed. Except for the wedding ring, it was the same Yvonne from three years ago.

As we ate, I realized that my expectation of seeing a dramatic change in a woman after marriage is a cultural thing that would obviously not apply to Yvonne who had been living with Justin for three years before the ring made it official. The girls back home I remembered emerging like a butterfly from its chrysalis after marriage had been virgins before they became wives. It was a beautiful transformation. If Sushmita Sen is to be believed that is a thing of the past in India too.

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