Thursday, October 02, 2008

Golden Silence

R (my ex) and I were very proud of the fact that unlike most couples, we never had an argument or raised our voices no matter what difference of opinion we had. Instead of screaming at each other, we would sit companionably together and talk through the issue at hand - and what a lot of talking that was ! By when we were done, the original problem would have blossomed into a rash of several others hitherto unknown ones making it fertile ground for many other such "meaningful conversations" as we would call these episodes.

So, the discussions and deliberations would continue ad nauseum until I was ready to scream if only to make this insanity stop and solve at least one thing. Needless to say, the distance between us widened at a devastating pace but we never stopped talking about the issues at hand and God knows there was no lack of them. All that talking opened up vulnerabilities in both of us that we would have been prudent not to show each other so early into the marriage.

To the bitter end, we were able to discourse on the many themes of our marital discord "intelligently" and "dispassionately". Among the many things that were or went wrong with my marriage - talking indefatigably through our troubles was by far the most significant. To that end, I can relate to the wisdom of this article which posits that you need to stay quiet to improve your marriage. I know for a fact talking does not help so maybe the silence could.

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