Friday, October 30, 2009


Halloween is upon us and so is a time of great indecision for J. In her "baby" days things were a lot easier. It was not too "lame" to dress up like an angel or a princess. The all-pink outfit was at hand complete with dollar store tiara and wand thanks to the thoughtfulness of my friend E who knew exactly what 3-4 year old girls would like to be for Halloween - a knowledge I was sadly lacking in at the time. Unfortunately, she does not have the magic formula for 6-8 year olds by when it is not nearly as straight forward. Needless to say, any idea that I come up with is dead on arrival.

J usually juggles with a half a dozen options for a few weeks, confusing and frustrating herself in the process of selection that has no clear elimination criteria. Each time we sense closure, a new idea will bubble up and trash everything planned thus far. She is back to the drawing board. This has been the routine the last couple of years. I have learned the hard way to hold my peace and wait until J is done mulling over her choices and narrowing it down to zero.

The day before she is will come out and tell me that she still does not know who or what she wants to be and will not be able to go trick or treating. There is a subtext of guilt inducement there that I pretend not to understand. I am not sure what if anything I could do to be of assistance but make sure to bring home candy. In the days that follow co-workers, friends and neighbors will unload more and more candy on me.

At some point J will get over her disappointment over not being able to figure her costume out on time and begin to gloat over her growing stash of candy.

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