Two Sides

I finally got around to reading When Breath Becomes Air. The writing is as amazing as the journey through the author's mind while he grapples with his mortality. The epilogue of the book written by the wife of the deceased author offered the most remarkable contrast in perspective to his own narrative. Comparing the two versions of the events was like first watching a soundless movie in black and white and then seeing the final scenes replayed in full color and with sound. Kalanithi was obsessed with the question of his life's purpose and being able to make the most of the somewhat undefined amount of time he had left. While that preoccupation resulted in this unforgettable book, the flow of life and love around him seemed to remain a distant force that only touched him at tangent.

In the early part of the book the author mentions difficulties in the marriage. Learning about his condition forces a resolution that did not follow the "normal course of life" path that is typical for such things. The remarkable differences between the atmosphere of events described by the author and his wife brought to mind Kurosawa's Rashomon. While the conditions facing this couple's marriage were extremely sad and dire, the many versions of truth in a marriage is an universal theme. In a good marriage these variations and contradictions confluence to create a foundation vibrant and strong. But the same lack of coherence can destroy it all when the marriage is less than ideal. It was an unsettling feeling to not understand the truth about this particular marriage where both sides had bared so much of their souls and had communicated their truths so eloquently.