Short Friendship

This essay about an unequal and unbalanced friendship between two young women brought to mind a few I have been in and others that I have observed from far. My first roommate in college was a lot like the girl who wore red lipstick in the story. The difference was that she was not entirely happy with who she was though she had a lot going for her. She wanted to absorb a lot of what made me, me. It got exhausting and suffocating to the point that we parted ways for good. But for that year or so, she and I were inseparable and many thought we were best friends. I did like her larger than life presence, the ability to do shocking things and not bat an eye - I was and still am way too risk averse to even consider. Though looking back, what she did was not all that crazy, it only appeared to me because of who I was. 

The author by her own example shows that such friendships have a short life-time. My roommate and I got a lot from each other but neither was willing to concede that the other had contributed, it hurt our pride. Today, I have no problem acknowledging that she developed my taste in classic rock and country music. I had passing familiarity with both genres coming into college - her knowledge was encyclopedic in comparison. I taught her about books and writers she had never heard of. She was great with makeup, I was mostly uninterested and still am. But along the way, I observed and learned how to do it right and its a skill that has proven useful over the years. We had some great conversations and held strong opinions, some shared and others not. There were secrets we shared with each other than stayed with us even when we were no longer friends.