Reading about the toxic wife syndrome reminds me of two women of my acquaintance. Deepa is still with her husband and Katie has left after taking him to the cleaners. For Deepa it just made more sense to stay than leave because she would have a hard time fitting in the desi mileu where having an affluent husband and two kids is what makes her so welcome. Losing the married tag would convert her into a pariah right away. It is not worth it for her.
Katie's been married before and can be married again so having a nice chunk of change while she scopes out the next prospect is not a bad deal at all. The largish wedding and anniversary diamonds were all set in platinum and that was just the beginning of all things lavish and supersize about her way of life. Both these women fit the trophy wife bill to the tee "Domesticated, docile yet dazzling" They stayed at home, had nannies raise the kids while they shopped and partied, lived in suburban McMansions and ofcourse their husbands paid for everything without exception - all of which apparently are the signs of toxic wives
There are five tell-tale signs, apparently. First, she gives up work, ostensibly to care for the brood, only to have the children packed off to either boarding school or intensive (ie, lots of extra-curricular activities) private day schools.
Secondly, she suddenly wants to move somewhere more rural/suburban that suits her idea of family life, yet location-wise is horrendous for her exhausted, ever-commuting husband.
Thirdly, she demands wall-to-wall help, which nearly always includes an abused Filipina who works 12-14 hours a day, six days a week.
Fourthly, she refuses to fulfil in any way the traditional contract of the non-working spouse in terms of doing anything for her husband (such as cooking), while, fifthly, she expects her husband to fulfil the traditional but anachronistic male role in the household (such as paying all the bills).