Friday, July 20, 2007

Desi Predilections

When I compare the quality of life for desi women home and abroad, its seems that that the grass could be greener on either side depending on their personal circumstances. This blog post has some interesting details. For a single woman in her thirties, the US may be preferable because it provides the much needed insulation and distance from inquisitive friends and relatives.

She can actually have a normal life instead of being stewed in a pressure cooker to get married. Likewise for single mothers - she does not have to live like a social pariah for not having a husband. If you happen to be a your twenties and make good money, India can be very fun these days. Career opportunities abound and travel is often part of the deal. In the twenties, you are not old enough to be classified as "old spinster with slim matrimonial prospects" Chances are that you have a romantic interest and/or your family is match-making.

These women are likely to have generous amounts of disposable income and freedom. Life is good. If however, they chose to come west for education or work the picture would turn suddenly grim. Money would be in short supply, matrimonial prospects with a desi guy would be bleaker because they have chosen to assert their independence in a way that fills the boys with much angst. Then there is the whole visa and immigration hoopla of which the less said the better.

A married women who is working can benefit equally from living home or in America and the preference for one over the other is an entirely individual consideration. There is no life more miserable than that of an H4 wife who wants to join the workforce but is not allowed to because of her visa status. Frequently they become victims of depression, domestic violence and emotional abuse in the marriage.


For a non-working married woman, India would be the better choice simply because she will not die of ennui like the H4 wives do. I guess there are some parameters that can determine if a desi guy will fare better home or abroad. When a desi dad in America finds himself distilling the essence of the Ramayan thusly to his son, he might seriously consider the R2I( Return To India) option. Though by then it may a little too late to make amends.

Reading this delightful post about
ten most boring things that desis do abroad made me wonder if we end up this way when we come to and stay on in America for the wrong reasons

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