Monday, April 06, 2009

First Love

This article advocating that people should forget their first love so all relationships following it are not ruined has commentators from across the spectrum from experience weighing in. Those who married their first love and are still married and in love with them, those who have not been so lucky but have never been able to forget and finally those who have reconnected after many long years only to discover it is just as magical as they remembered it.

There are some contrary voices of those who would love to forget their first love, those who have not felt quite the same after meeting again after many years but they are in the minority. The topic is bound to stir up some strong emotions and mostly from those who have has an intense first relationship. They would be the ones struggling with memories that are impossible to forget even after much trying.

The only way to "forget" is for the relationship to have translated to marriage and allow reality to take over. If not, the memories become frozen in time, more perfect than they had really been because we all want to believe there was this one shining moment in our lives, when we had attained the absolute pinnacle in love.

It would make for a sad life to not have had that experience. To that end, we endow the past and this special person with larger than life qualities. So to ask us to relinquish this thing of perfection is asking for the impossible. It is useful however to acknowledge that the deification of our first love is a thing of our own imagination and therefore should not be confused with expectations from relationships following it. That might be the extent of "forgetfulness" the heart will allow.

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