Saturday mornings are Sheila's favorite time of the week. The weekend has kicked in and yet its full potential remains unexplored. Checking her email in bed curled up in her comforter, she wishes for a cup of coffee to materialize by her side magically - that would make the moment perfect.
The phone rings and the instant messenger chimes in near unison breaking the silence. The call is from Katie - early bird as always she is calling to see if Sheila is up for a run in the park. The ping is from Vasundhara, an old friend who has been out of circulation for several months now. V is notoriously late responding to email, never checks voice-mail but will insist on meeting for lunch with a couple of hours notice.
V: Shell, hey !
S : Hey yourself. Up so bright and early ?
V: Have you ever wanted to kick yourself in the butt real hard so you’d stop dreaming about some guy who does not give a shit about you and move on with your life ?
S: Uh-uh. That sounds familiar.
V: And then regretted not having someone to drum some sense into your thick skull because you couldn’t reasonably land a kick on your own butt ?
S: Yup. Been there too
V: So wtf do you do when that happens ?
S: Wait until the urge to dream, mope and kick your own butt dies on its own . It happens eventually. Until then get used to feeling like a prize idiot.
V : What it’s been seven years and it still does not happen ?
S: That sounds like something a medical professional needs to work on. Is it who I think it is ?
V : Shut up ! Yes it is. Seriously, what do you do then ?
S: Don’t know. Mine have never gone past a couple of years. And I used to think I was weird. You give me hope, V.
V: This guy keeps interrupting my life every time I am really close to being over him – his timing is absolutely brutal.
S: You can put a restraining order on him.
V: How do you do that stuff online ? You can't ever disconnect online even if you do in real life.
S: Unfriend, block him , remove him from IM.. Set up an auto-reply that says “Get out and stay out !” each time he emails.
V: But I like him being around him in my life.
S: So you want trouble, you get big heaps of it. What exactly is the problem ?
V: Nothing. Never mind.
S: But seriously. What is it ?
V: I want it over with but cling on hope that he’ll be back and actually stay this time – it proves to me that we share something really special.
S: A strong desire for self-abuse is what I can see you clearly share. Not sure about anything else.
V: He is really fun.
S: Is he still single ?
V: Yes. Technically at least.
S: Nice. You really like him or is he just hot and you’re crazy infatuated ?
V: Mostly former maybe a little later.
S: I am thinking you have the order in reverse.
V: Not true.
S: Sometimes its hard to parse the two out. Been there, done that.
V: Can it be a little of both ?
S: Sure. But its important to know the proportion. Makes all the difference in the world.
V: So what do I do ?
S: Like my friend Danielle would say ask him to shit up or get up.
V: Interesting turn of phrase
S: Try it on him the next time and let me know how he reacts.
V: Yeah
S: You know what you want from him ?
V: I guess.
S: After seven years, that's quite promising.
V: Quit being snarky, Shell !
S: For an e-kick in the posterior, IM me any time.
V: Will do.
S: Ciao!
V: TTYL.
Sheila smiled to herself as she signed off and climbed out of bed. That chat was almost as fun as the day's first cup of coffee.
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The phone rings and the instant messenger chimes in near unison breaking the silence. The call is from Katie - early bird as always she is calling to see if Sheila is up for a run in the park. The ping is from Vasundhara, an old friend who has been out of circulation for several months now. V is notoriously late responding to email, never checks voice-mail but will insist on meeting for lunch with a couple of hours notice.
V: Shell, hey !
S : Hey yourself. Up so bright and early ?
V: Have you ever wanted to kick yourself in the butt real hard so you’d stop dreaming about some guy who does not give a shit about you and move on with your life ?
S: Uh-uh. That sounds familiar.
V: And then regretted not having someone to drum some sense into your thick skull because you couldn’t reasonably land a kick on your own butt ?
S: Yup. Been there too
V: So wtf do you do when that happens ?
S: Wait until the urge to dream, mope and kick your own butt dies on its own . It happens eventually. Until then get used to feeling like a prize idiot.
V : What it’s been seven years and it still does not happen ?
S: That sounds like something a medical professional needs to work on. Is it who I think it is ?
V : Shut up ! Yes it is. Seriously, what do you do then ?
S: Don’t know. Mine have never gone past a couple of years. And I used to think I was weird. You give me hope, V.
V: This guy keeps interrupting my life every time I am really close to being over him – his timing is absolutely brutal.
S: You can put a restraining order on him.
V: How do you do that stuff online ? You can't ever disconnect online even if you do in real life.
S: Unfriend, block him , remove him from IM.. Set up an auto-reply that says “Get out and stay out !” each time he emails.
V: But I like him being around him in my life.
S: So you want trouble, you get big heaps of it. What exactly is the problem ?
V: Nothing. Never mind.
S: But seriously. What is it ?
V: I want it over with but cling on hope that he’ll be back and actually stay this time – it proves to me that we share something really special.
S: A strong desire for self-abuse is what I can see you clearly share. Not sure about anything else.
V: He is really fun.
S: Is he still single ?
V: Yes. Technically at least.
S: Nice. You really like him or is he just hot and you’re crazy infatuated ?
V: Mostly former maybe a little later.
S: I am thinking you have the order in reverse.
V: Not true.
S: Sometimes its hard to parse the two out. Been there, done that.
V: Can it be a little of both ?
S: Sure. But its important to know the proportion. Makes all the difference in the world.
V: So what do I do ?
S: Like my friend Danielle would say ask him to shit up or get up.
V: Interesting turn of phrase
S: Try it on him the next time and let me know how he reacts.
V: Yeah
S: You know what you want from him ?
V: I guess.
S: After seven years, that's quite promising.
V: Quit being snarky, Shell !
S: For an e-kick in the posterior, IM me any time.
V: Will do.
S: Ciao!
V: TTYL.
Sheila smiled to herself as she signed off and climbed out of bed. That chat was almost as fun as the day's first cup of coffee.
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