Friday, October 02, 2009

Sudden Ends

Found this sad and comic link to an YouTube video via Kottke in which JD goes backpacking around Europe for two weeks leaves his phone behind and does not check his email. He thinks he has told his girlfriend that he will be out of pocket but apparently she did not pay attention to what he was saying.

Then she starts emailing him - which is what t he video is about. He ends his story with two observations - one to be careful about falling in love with passionate people because they can be just as extreme in hate as they can be in love the second to keep the phone on while on vacation.

While those are good lessons learned, there is possibly a third - you find out a lot about yourself and your partner when the relationship it put into an unfamiliar, unexpected pattern. In this case, the woman was quick to infer infidelity which suggests that the relationship was not on a very strong footing. She might have been worried sick about the man if his loyalty was completely assured in her mind. The two week hiatus revealed the inherent weakness and flaws in the relationship that may have gone unnoticed and undiscovered for much longer if nothing changed out it's regular pattern.

To that end, it is always useful in a new relationship to put it through some stress tests just to see if it has staying power. Sometimes a long hiatus can be a good way to decide if there is enough mutual interest and attraction to revive the connection or make it permanent.

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