Saturday, May 22, 2010

Third Place

My mother taught me the importance of gratitude for what has been blessed with in life as early as I was able to appreciate what that meant. She has always been the kind of person that will confront their own negativity and not give up until they have overcome it. She is a source of energy that replenishes itself and gives generously to those who wish to draw form it.  Any time I am feeling low, I just need to call and talk to her for bit and I experience a world of difference. How she does this without draining her own reserves of strength and optimism, I don't know but it is something I have always depended on.
J takes after my mother in temperament and it takes a lot to get her down. But when on occassion she does feel bummed out, it is well beyond my capacity to get her to snap out of it. As she grows older, I find her seeking refuge in books - she loves reading and reads voraciously. Sometimes, I might suggest a movie she may enjoy watching and that could be her escape too. It is a trait she shares with me. The best way to let J work through her mood, I have found is to let her finish what she is reading or watching. She is in her third place with the cast of characters in her book or movie forming the social community. She comes out of it happier and at peace with herself.
I realize I have to build my own reserves to play in J's life the role my mother has played in mine. While having one's own sanctuary is a wonderful thing and I am grateful she has hers, there is something special about being able to connect to a loved one and feel emotionally rejuvenated in the process.

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