Saturday, June 26, 2010

Mismatched Pace

Marriage more than anything else is about opposite personality types being drawn together. DB and I are unlike each other in very significant ways.What had seemed entirely about a great balance of strengths and weaknesses at first is turning out to be an adjustment challenge. I, for instance, thrive on pursuing my goals with zeal and determination. If there is a task at hand, I refuse it give it less than my fullest and best. What is more, I don't wait - I get to work immediately.

DB is slower, far more deliberate and likes to mull things over - for a very long time. Once he is good and ready he can act very fast. I am a sprinter and he is a marathon runner. Very different skills, strengths, strategies and end games even. So here we are with me sprinting and waiting for him to catch up, growing tired that the finish line is so far away. DB on the contrary is completely comfortable with his pace because he is not in the business of sprinting at all. Every time I have to break my stride and pause, I grow frustrated with him for being so slow. He does not understand how I could reasonably expect for him to go at my pace and still travel the distance.

Maybe in a few years we will both adjust our pace to reach somewhere between a sprint and a marathon. A pace and destination that will give us both what we need.

No comments: