Sunday, January 02, 2011

Reviving Ties

The past year has been about change - often of the cataclysmic kind. DB's coming into my life ending a ten year drought in love was as welcome as it was challenging. It was the year when some friends who had supported me for close to ten years as I flew solo, decided that our friendship had run it's course. So I got used to not hearing familiar voices on the phone, not seeing their emails and in time learning to forget that they were once an important part of my life. When the new marriage hit a bump on the road, I had no one to turn and talk to. Instead DB and I sulked in our corners and came back together when we were done.
I was forced to cleave my life in two - yet again. Life before DB and life after. It was reminiscent of when R (my ex) and I parted ways years ago. Spending New Year's eve with my old friend E was very poignant. She met DB for the first time and J after four years. We felt just as welcome as a new family as I did when it was J and I. DB and E got along wonderfully. We talked, ate, drank and took long walks along the nature trail that runs behind her house and runs all the way to the ocean.
Until reconnecting with E, I had been coping with having to start over one too many times in my life. Mourning the loss of friends - DB's lost plenty on his end as well after our marriage. As a couple, we often floundered on our own without the benefit of nurturing friendships. I am meeting my friend V for lunch today. She texted me this morning wanting to meet for lunch - just her and I. We have in the past meet in a larger group, V, K and his family and the three of us. I gather V needs some time alone with me. This is not a revived tie but a tie that needs some strengthening. I feel good about the year ahead.

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