Heartcrossings

 I can't tell if this book club is a form of torture or the most unique bonding experience between a group of people who have stuck with something for three decades.  Fialka said he once saw a list of at least 52 active Finnegans Wake reading groups, though Slote, the Joyce scholar, said he thinks there are even more. A Wake group in Zurich, founded in 1984, has read the book three times in nearly 40 years, and is currently well into its fourth cycle. Their first reading took 11 years. Different groups have their own local character. “The New York group is really argumentative, and they’re always yelling at each other, but they’re all friends, they’ve all known each other for 20 years.” Quadrino said. His Austin group is “more friendly, more ‘Yes, and’”. The Zurich group, which attracts a mix of retirees and university students, is “benevolent, although it can also become competitive and contentious,” according to Sabrina Alonso, a member, and Fritz Senn, its host. At any rat...

There is a time in a woman's life where the agonizing hour described by the narrator in story can happen. While living through that experience she feels angry at the man for making her feel so vulnerable and powerless. The most desired thing in that moment is to never ever have to experience this. That time passes and she comes into clarity. The hurt heals over and there is scar tissue where once the heart was so easy to wound. The next man when he comes along will not have this effect on her anymore.  No, no, no. I must stop. I must think about something else. This is what I'll do. I'll put the clock in the other room. Then I can't look at it. If I do have to look at it, then I'll have to walk into the bedroom, and that will be something to do. Maybe, before I look at it again, he will call me. I'll be so sweet to him, if he calls me. If he says he can't see me tonight, I'll say, "Why, that's all right, dear. Why, of course it's all right....

I suppose the point of Mrs . was to stir outrage at the patriarchy but it did not get there for me. The woman who gets married falls into a trap of bad sex, endless cooking, cleaning and service providing had a dance troupe. So this is someone who has more options than most - a path to financial independence. Maybe she chose to marry a doctor to have a better quality of life than she could afford on her own given her skills. The cost of entry to that life is everything that follows - really any other outcome would be miraculous. The lady dives right into cooking lavish spreads for meals everyday, packing lunches for her husband, being at his beck and call - aiming to please as a traditional Indian wife. There is no scenario where any woman can achieve that ideal - the array of issues may vary in each situation but success is never attainable and so of course she fails. To me this movie is not about how messed up the arranged marriage and joint family living is for a woman who has dream...

This silly little essay would have been right on the money back in my time when I was a kid growing up in India. There really was no pleasing your middle-class Indian parent no matter what kind of child you were. No one had heard or known of a parent that was content with their kids no matter how exemplar they were. There was always something missing. Socially it was the right signal to send out - that sense of discontent with your progeny, the hand-wringing over their lack of perfection and such. On the rare occasion one might run into a parent who was oddly braggadocious about their kid.  People held a pretty dim view of such parents and it was generally understood that their kids would end up being hugely problematic, they were indeed the object of pity for having such inept parents. The decorous and proper thing was to complain about the kids, find fault with them in private and public, keep the pressure on for improved performance. Interesting to see that little has changed w...

My friend L is a physical therapist and works with elderly people who need help in their homes or assisted living facilities. She loves her job and the patients but truly resents the mountains of paperwork she needs to do each day. Most of it is to make sure that the services are paid for by insurance but there is an insane amount of busy work that drains her out.  L would love to have more control over her schedule, pick the gigs she wants and ideally have the admin part of her job gone. She could take that time back to further her education, keep up with the latest research and so on - things that would add value for those she cares for. Reading this essay about the uberization of nursing brought L to mind. It seems as if there is no winning scenario for those who care for others and rightfully want to do in way that is sustainable for them. For workers, the old adage of equal pay for equal work has gone out the window. Personalized pay is all the rage (Teachout 2023). On-demand ...

As some who rarely buys potato chips, I have not paid attention to how they are priced these days .  In the wake of rising potato chip prices, more consumers have been turning to private-label, less-expensive store brand options. The New York Times reported back in October 2023 that “private-label foods and beverages have crept up to a 20.6 % share of grocery dollars from 18.7% before the pandemic,” citing market research from Circana. Potato chips are just another food item that inflation-weary consumers are either abandoning or seeking cheaper alternatives for. Consumers did the same with fast food which led to several chains, including McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy's to release their own rendition of value meals. We do have this long-standing road-trip tradition where I'll buy a big bag of potato chips for the road if we are in a foreign country. I like picking a popular local flavor I would not find back at home. Its a way to indulge in and understand what kind of chip...

Meeting A on my trip to India was a return to childhood in many ways. We go back to the end of high school which feels like an infinitely long time ago. It is great to be able to reset to a very uncomplicated time of our lives whenever we meet. It is almost impossible to stay in the here and now for too long - we have our happy place that is too easy to return to and we do that reflexively.  Yes, there were conversations about her ailing parents, the need for nursing care and what their long term care means for her own life since she is single and has no plans of changing that. While those are real problems she is dealing with everyday, having an escape even for a few days gave her much needed reset. It is sad to read that the young people of today may not have such a luxury when they are our age.  The internet is the “main contender” for blame, Blanchflower told Al Jazeera. “Nothing else fits the facts.” In 2024, a Pew Research Survey found that three in four American teenag...