Heartcrossings

A long time fan of Doris Lessing, I loved reading this Paris Review interview with her. This excerpt was particularly personal for me : My mother was a woman who was very frustrated. She had a great deal of ability, and all this energy went into me and my brother. She was always wanting us to be something. For a long time she wanted me to be a musician, because she had been a rather good musician. I didn’t have much talent for it. But everybody had to have music lessons then. She was always pushing us. And, of course, in one way it was very good, because children need to be pushed. But she would then take possession of whatever it was. So you had to protect yourself. But I think probably every child has to find out the way to possess their own productions.   I was raised by a frustrated mother in many ways I am one too. Motherhood is deeply fulfilling - the joy of creating life is a powerful force. However, it does fade in time to be replaced by the need for seeing thwarte

Met my friend S for lunch today after several months. She is one of my trusted advisors on what works (or not) when parenting tweens. J finds her hip, cool and pretty - the winning combination. It helps that S has a number of interesting hobbies and a beautiful singing voice. I was telling her about how J has often asked me if it was okay to share something fairly personal with her best friend - I have said yes but that conversation never ended up happening. J decided against it fearing she may be considered weird for having a problem that needed sharing - no one else does that. She does not want to be the minority of one.  S's perspective on the issue helped clarify things for me. According to her, this is the Facebook generation - they are used to living in the public eye, their lives airbrushed to perfection. Everyone is exuberant all the time, winning at everything and incredibly happy. That is the artificial standard that people are using to calibrate themselves. In that con

An unexpected chunk of free time I came into recently, will end this month. The weather has been pleasant allowing for long walks in the morning - a rare indulgence for me. To fight off what was turning into an afternoon nap habit, I thought to catch up on movies from home instead. First on my list was Midnight's Children and then some Bengali movies - Antaheen , Mach Mishti & More and Goynar Baksho . I am several years behind at this time and picked three that received positive reviews. Deepa Mehta's Midnight's Children was a perfect treat. In the movie, the book had come to life bringing back memories of the time I had read it over twenty five years ago. Back then it had been a hard book to read but interesting enough for me to persevere. An intricate web of stories with complex references to Indian politics, society and history - it was certainly no bed time reading. The movie is able to keep the essence and spirit of the novel (not surprising being that Rushdie