Friday, April 01, 2005

Angler after a fashion

Some random thoughts on seeing his personal ad still alive and active many many months after we met and broke up..

You remind me of an angler by a pond, alert to the tug on your rod when mouth meets bait. You pull her up and like God , decide to spare her life because she is not Her. Blue bottles buzz around you, darkness gathers. You pack for the day knowing to return again for Her or someone that will remind you for her. In days to come many would have bit the bait, come up for air, fluttered dangerously between life and death and in the end lived.

In seasons to come they would have grown older, spawned some died even. The young ones would know you as the odd Bait Man who feeds but does not kill. They would come to think of you as a charmingly odd presence in their lives.

Should you dip your toes in the water you may feel friendly little nibbles. In years to come you would begin to wonder if She had a figment of your imagination, She of iridescent scales, regal fury, almost snapping your arm off as she fought for freedom. You had hauled her up - you had wanted her but on your own terms. You had wanted her to submit not resist you.

For that instant she was yours too and at your mercy. You had enjoyed power and dominance and just when she was willing to give herself up, you cast her in the water, heedless of the ties of love or of friendship even. You were satiated.

To possess her had been a whim, to toss her away just another. You answered no one to take off on your flights of fancy. She had returned to her element. You wait for someone like her to come. This time you know to ask her to stay.

1 comment:

Chay said...

Exceptionally good writing!! Left me gasping....:-)
Of fishing and men...what can one say, except Oy Vay!!