Skip to main content

Coerced Appreciation

The director at J's daycare had organized a teacher appreciation day today. About two weeks ago I saw a sign-up sheet pasted to the door of J's class requesting parents to bring in some food for a teacher's luncheon. It remained pristine and unsigned for a week. She then set it at the front desk where parents clock in and out. Nothing changed. Two days ago, Ms P was on the edge of despair. She accosted parents on their way in and out and cajoled them to sign up to bring in something.

Yesterday was my turn. There were quite a few names and a variety of food as well - there was clearly no need for more. She seemed determined not to let anyone off the hook. I was running late for work already and would have said anything to be able to leave. I had committed to mashed potatoes and forgot all about it as soon as I was out the door. This morning, I showed up empty handed. There was silent reproach, but no questions were asked.

On the way to work I wondered if Ms P had not come out a little too strong in enlisting support from the obviously unwilling parents. Appreciation should be generous, heartfelt and spontaneous and not coerced. She expected us to spend an hour with the children at nap-time so the teachers could enjoy their lunch - a fairly odd if not inconsiderate request.

I remember the time when the old director had put up a colorful poster in the room with a request to the parents to write something in appreciation of the teachers. On day two, I had to struggle hard to find space for my two cents. The response was overwhelming. The teachers were genuinely touched and left us individual thank you notes.

Ms P has successfully soured a perfectly harmonious relationship between the parents and the teachers.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques