Sunday, January 08, 2006

Wanting Out

J and L's kids had a blast last evening while we managed to watch Intolerable Cruelty without kid-interruptions. L is on a sabbatical from her successful corporate career. She was married twenty years ago to A who was then her social equal and as such a very plausible partner. While L's career has grown and blossomed in ways perhaps unexpected even to her, A has remained approximately where he was back then. The opportunities she has had has broadened her horizons and fundamentally changed her.

She has outgrown the relationship in every way. A is a good man and L recognizes that, they have two children. There is too much invested in the relationship for either of them to walk away. Yet, L's heart is not in the marriage anymore. She can't see herself growing old with a man she has so little in common with - perhaps they married too young. I have met A. He has the air of a man in much discomfort. He would rather be elsewhere but is not able to take that one final step just like L is not. The children are their glue and as good parents they are trying hard to put their needs above their own.

So watching typical Hollywood fare with L turned steeped with meaning as the story unfolded. I have been through divorce (thankfully a fairly easy one in legal terms) and L has divorce on her mind. While the antics of George Clooney amused both us, L felt much trepidation as well. I have been there so I know the feeling.

On the way home from L's I did not know what to wish for her. That she let fear overcome her desire to break free or that she overcome fear to be true to herself.

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