Sunday, February 26, 2006

Gratis Shrink

In which it takes a random Desi guy all of ten minutes and a few sentences typed in a chat session to psychoanalyze me. Talk of precocious perspicacity ! Unfortunately he does not prescribe the cure for what ails me. Even so anyone out there who is paying top dollar for therapy should get in touch with me so I can refer them to the Gratis Shrink par excellence

Him: hi
Me: hi
Him: a pic

Comments - Brilliant opening line. From experience these have inevitably gone south.

Me: too early for a pic i think.yes i do have pictures
Him: really.always nice to see the person..
Me: i'm sure.if there is mutual interest to proceed further a pic will follow
Him: interesting profile u have
Me: thanks :)
Him: ok.perhaps a pic may cause the interest to rise
Me: i am sure it will and thats exactly why i think it should wait a little
Him: fair enough.seem very clear on what u want
Me: too clear actually. manage to scare most guys at one million paces
Him: looking at your profile here - you need to respect him..
Me: very important to me
Him: interesting
Me: i'm not looking for a buddy - i need to be able to look up to the man
Him: but then again he needs to be u may not be able to
Me: humor is related to intelligence and as such a criteria for me being able to respect him
Him: is..humor related to intelligence?
Me: usually is.not the slapstick variety - the subtle sometimes even acerbic kind
Him: lol
Me: a man that cannot make me laugh will not work out anyways so why bother

Comments: I am wondering if I should sign off at this point and get some dinner started. Clearly this is headed deep south.

Short Pause

Me: so what do you do for a living ?
Him: i read bad code and write good code.
Me: ah !
Him: i am a programmer
Me: to paraphrase, you write the bad code and then re-write it ?
Him: haha.sometimes
Me: thats called job security :)
Him: yes

Long Pause

Comments: Incredible timing ! J says she's hungry so I leave to fix her some snack and also get dinner started as contemplated earlier.

Him: well
Me: well ?
Him: i qualified to see ur pic
Me: not all seriousness seeing my picture will not add any value to this process. for most guys my appearance is the least of their concerns.
Him: i understand what u say. what have looks got to do with this process anyway..
Me: not much unless you are flat out replusive looking
Him: lol.u like my picture?
Me: ur ok
Him: ok

Pregnant Pause

Comments: Wonder if his mom raised him to believe that he had the looks that would cause mass hysteria among the female of the species. I have known many desi moms to do that.

Him: so..what else
Me: your turn . ask me what you want to know
Him: i am turned off by u

Comments : Might have been right on the money about mom :)

Me: great
Him: u carry too much angry energy.may be you have not recoverd from the divorce yet..
Me: wow this is my lucky day ! I actually get a shrink for free :)
Him: yes
Me: tell me more - since i'm not paying for this i'm all ears and have all the time in the world



bilbo said...

this was funny as heck. met the shrink types who cant hold a conversation but seem to have figured a person out in 2 minutes.

Heartcrossings said...

Bilbo - Thats what they call the strong, silent type. A man of few to no words but boy can he size up a woman ! :)