We Are Family

Every once in a while, I revisit the importance of a father-figure in J's life. The best way I have found is to ask her how she feels about it. She has gone through distinct phases in the last few years.

When I first broached the subject of "father" her reaction was one of vehement denial. She did not want to hear anything about him and most definitely did not want a father. The next time, there was some curiosity along with a grudging acceptance of the fact that she missed having a father. While she still did not want her "real" father who she has never seen, she was interested in a "good daddy" and trusted Mommy would find one in short order.

Thankfully children have a very mutable notion of time. An hour could last an eternity if a treat is promised after naptime. Yet the years that she has been waiting for the "good daddy" to come into her life could be only as long as a few minutes. Last night we spoke about her father or the lack of one. My little girl has come such a long way that she humbles me.

Me: When do you think we'll find your "good daddy", J ?
J : I've told God to find me one soon.
Me: But when do you think God will find him ?
J : It could take some time.
Me : Does it bother you that God is taking so long ?
J : Does it bother you ?
Me : Sometimes it does.
J : I don't care if it bothers me.
Me : Why do you think you want a daddy ?
J : So we can be family.
Me : Aren't we family now, J ?
J : We are little family. I want to be more family - like the song We Are Family.
Me : What's the difference ?
J: The house is empty. I want the house to be full of family just like the song.