Dear Sheila,
I wonder if you remember me. We met at Vaishali's a couple of years ago. I am the photographer dude that was in the States on an assignment for a museum and you had said "You must be our desi Ansel Adams. Code coolies are dime a dozen but a professional photographer is like wow" How have you been ?
Take care,
Arun.
Hey Arun !
What a pleasant surprise. In response to my "wow" You had said "I am merely a digital archival coolie. Soon the likes of me will be dime a dozen too" What have you been up to ? I remember our discussion about finding "the one" and how our criteria made them more elusive than they needed to be. I continue to seek and am yet to find. How about you ?
Ciao,
Sheila.
Dear Sheila,
Nope I have not met anyone yet. Like yourself, still single and looking. The women in my city - they don't want to live here. They all want to go abroad and settle there. Then there is this influx of westerners coming to Bangalore for BPO training and management. These guys stand a far better chance than someone like me.
I did meet a wonderful woman here soon after I returned from the museum assignment. She was recently out of a very violent marriage and quite terrified of men. I stayed with her until she recovered and got some control over her drinking problem. Once she got back on her feet, I moved out to give her space and time to decide what she wanted to do with her life. We are the best of friends. I would have loved to marry her but was so busy helping her get back on track that the romance never really sparked between us. Hopefully some day she will thank me and be in a good relationship with someone else.
My job takes half of my time and the other half goes into travel and photography. The woman in my life has to be equally passionate about her career and hobbies and want to live in India. My ex was just the kind of woman I would love to be with. Mature, head strong and ambitious… but then tough luck....she wanted to be with her boyfriend and that is where she is now and a happy mother too.
I hope you have been making judicious choices and have at least met some nice men. Feel free to ask for advise from someone older, wiser and previously married to boot - all the qualifications that you lack :) I am going to be in your neck of the woods next month. Vaishali and Rishi insist that I stay with them instead of some seedy motel. I look forward to seeing you then.
Take care,
Arun.
An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t
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