Skip to main content

Desperate For News

The hapless H4 wife is one among the many stereotypes that abound about desis. Having known many myself, I have an appreciation of their plight though the desperation that this TOI article describes is news to me. That they could become victims of domestic abuse is easy to understand given that their legal status in the country is tied to their husband's and they have no means of acquiring financial independence.

Why turning to swinging should be an H4 wife syndrome is not quite as clear. It is a choice any jaded and adventurous couple could make if they were so inclined. How typically TOI to use an "undercover agent" to uncover material for the tabloid the publication has now become.

Comments

Ek Umeed said…
I agree with your take on the article, Heartcrossings. I find the author's trick of using the plight of women (lacking basic rights afforded to resident aliens and citizens) under H4B visas to visit the topic of swinging absolutely disgusting and a hiatus from the intention of bringing to forefront serious discourse on this important issue. Much like you, I do not find this type of writing, which can only be termed as "sensationalistic journalism," in good taste. How crass and unimaginative indeed!
Heartcrossings said…
Ek Umeed - Back in the day (I mean 80s and earlier) TOI used to be a serious newspaper. You read it for credible reporting. Its a shame to see how far they've stooped.
ggop said…
They don't call it Slimes of India on blogs for nothing :-)
gg
Heartcrossings said…
ggop - Slimes of Inida is just perfect !

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...