Stumped By Greetings

I got the following holiday greeting (borrowed from TOI) from a very dear old friend and am not sure what would make for an appropriate response to this. I think I'll just have to be my boring and politically incorrect old self and call him on the 1st.

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that India is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Cheers!!!”

Its interesting, that another friend decided to be J's secret Santa this morning and surprise her with some kids music and a jingle bell bracelet. J found out last year that Santa is "pretend" so I was not sure how she would react to seeing something marked "To J, From Santa". J said "Maybe pretend and real are the same thing" in a bit she thought of some folks who could have given her the gift and have had Santa be their courier.

A few hours later she concluded "Maybe God decided to give me the gift because I was good". She has been satisfied with one or more of the ways she found to account for the surprise from Santa. I offered no input because she did not need any. I learnt that the magic of Santa lies in a child's imagination and is not dimished by her knowing that he is "pretend".