Skip to main content

Stardom Week - Part 2


This is Part Two of a Nine part series

Swami Chinmayanad once said "Disappointment occurs to those who make an appointment with the future". I have often remembered this quote when the future I had wanted shaped up a lot contrary to my desire or dreams. Had J been any older or wiser, I might have said that to her when I called home Monday afternoon after she had returned from school to check how things went with the poster. "Mommy, I started very late and then the bell for the school bus rang. Mrs. H showed it to the class herself. She said I can have my turn tomorrow". J said sadly.

I could sense deep hurt and disappointment in her voice. I tried to tell her that it was no big deal and she could talk about it on Tuesday. J insisted that all the other kids who had their turn to be the star always started to present their poster right after naptime but she was not allowed to do so until much later. I was surprised that she could even discern the difference in timing. "They start around 1:00 but Mrs. H let me start after 2:00". I did not want to jump to rash conclusions about the teacher's intent and motivation for doing what she had done. I was willing to believe that J had high hopes and was feeling let down at the way things had not gone the way she might have wanted.

She was upset that Mrs. H stole her thunder. I came home a little earlier than usual and tried to distract her from the poster incident. In a few hours she was back to being her usual cheerful self trying to decide between Horsey and Teddy to take to class the next day. Tuesday was the day for the star of the week to share their favorite toy. Horsey won in the end. I know J has a personality for the outside world. Neither Horsey nor Teddy are her favorites - but they conform to the popular stereotype of a "favorite stuffed animal".

I asked her why she did not want to share "Junie" her old and rather uncool doll and the "true" favorite toy. She said "My friends will not understand". I realized as long as I was able to give her what it took to remain in her true and natural self at home and with me, we would both be fine but it would take constant effort to make sure she did not feel any need to invent a persona for my benefit.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...
5 comments
Read more

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...
111 comments
Read more

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...
6 comments
Read more