Friendship Breakpoint

There is a fine line between clinginess and healthy dependence and often the one who is accused of the former thinks they have the later. The partner thinks otherwise. It could be attributed to difference in perception and opinion sometimes blatant double standards. There is also a contextual basis for the categorization which makes it even more complicated.

Reading the article, made me think of my former co-worker Janet. We stayed in touch long after we stopped working together. She was fun to hang out with and sometimes stopped by at my place after work to taste some Indian food. She loves doing things for people she cares about and often with great pomp and circumstance as she has done for both me and J.

While we have been good friends, I find myself taking an almost perverse satisfaction in counting how many times, I have allowed her to get away with completely unacceptable behavior. It is like if I let this pass, I will know what else she may be capable of, it will help me understand something about the human nature I would not have otherwise known. I tread with great deliberation the blurred line between clinginess and friendly dependence as I try to keep everything in balance and my self respect intact. With Janet sometimes that can be tough.

Coincidentally, today was her tenth and final opportunity. After spending six months with us, J's grandparents returned home last week. The house feels really quiet and empty in the evenings. J has not been her usual cheerful and boisterous self. I asked Janet, if she would like to stop by one evening during the week for dinner with us because it would liven up the home and J. Its been several months since J saw her last. If not anything else it would be a pleasant surprise for her.

Janet said she was too busy to come to my place but we could meet at San Francisco Oven five minutes from where I live. That would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. With some people, the more you know them, the more they reveal their inner good, like a diamond in the rough they need patience to discover. Others like Janet can keep up appearances only for so long, the more you let them relax the more ugly they reveal themselves to be.