Skip to main content

Partying Babies

Back at Sheetal's baby did not have to love disco to party hard and into the wee hours along with their parents. They believed children were always better served being with their parents irrespective of circumstances than left behind with baby sitters. They did not endorse the western world view.

I never understood what part of Bharatiya Parampara these folks so zealously supported leaving six and seven year olds unattended at the bar so they could mix left over drinks wily-nily with their soda and run upstairs to their rooms to play video games. Sheetal and Jay are hardly an exception. A lot of desi parents tow their children along like body appendages wherever they go. As the parents, chat and drink till 4:00 a.m., the kids fall asleep bored and exhausted all around the house. Saturday mornings don't start till one in the afternoon.

All around me, I see elementary school kids dressing and acting like teenagers. Childhood used to be a brief yet beautiful bridge between infancy and adolescence. Increasingly, it seems like parents and other adults in a child's life are intent on burning that bridge down with finality. J's classmate Kylie longs to be a big girl so she can drive a car and have a boyfriend just like her cousin Julie.

Her friend Alicia promises to serve drinks the next time she has a birthday party and have plenty of music to go along with it. At six years old you wonder if she knows what she's talking about until you see her do hip rolls and pelvic thrusts to something that sounds like Reggaeton. You worry if she had a pink lemonade or a daiquiri in mind when she said drinks.

Second graders at J's school have hair stylist appointments and wear clothes that would fit the "slutty" categorization for a woman. Barbie doll underwear waistband is the agent provocateur of kindergarten. Independent reading is apparently an optional skill for most of these kids. I feel like an anachronism raising a child like we still lived in the dark ages. I am not nearly up to speed on current mothering best practices and will most likely never catch up.

Child rearing seems to be a lost cause both in the East and the West these days. The old ways that served both cultures much better is no longer good enough. Makes you wonder what folks were thinking when they decided to tear down and rebuild something that was working just fine. For instance, what gap in a child's life was an adult trying to fill by taking her to a nightclub at naptime ?

Comments

random said…
Rightly said. Fail to understand why people try to mix two cultures together. Wonder what kind of role model are these parents when they bring their young ones to parties that last till early hours of morning.
Heartcrossings said…
Pawan - Thanks for stopping by. I guess these parents are convinced they are doing the right thing and that is a real pity.

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...