My grandmother is old and dying - she has been this way for a few years now and lurches from one medical emergency to another. The grand kids who are in India are probably suffering from compassion and sympathy fatigue - not that they had a lot to begin with. So late last year while she lay in the hospital holding on to life by the slenderest thread, her youngest grandson was out at a dance club across town with his girlfriend celebrating Durga Puja.
I haven't seen my grandmother in a long time and don't find myself thinking about her until I hear of a crisis. I have some pleasant childhood memories of her but not nearly as many since coming of age. Until it blows over, she remains in my thoughts and fades away once again. the last event was a fairly serious one and we had braced ourselves for the worst.
As she drifted between wakefulness and unconsciousness, I found myself thinking about the life she has lead so far and how it came to be that she does not matter very much to anyone anymore; how it came to be that her children and grandchildren would much rather get on with their own lives than wait on hers to ebb out. Do people simply get too busy to care, or it is something the individual does or does not do in the prime of their lives that leaves them in my grandmother's sorry state. I wondered what would it take for someone to not end up the way she has.
I haven't seen my grandmother in a long time and don't find myself thinking about her until I hear of a crisis. I have some pleasant childhood memories of her but not nearly as many since coming of age. Until it blows over, she remains in my thoughts and fades away once again. the last event was a fairly serious one and we had braced ourselves for the worst.
As she drifted between wakefulness and unconsciousness, I found myself thinking about the life she has lead so far and how it came to be that she does not matter very much to anyone anymore; how it came to be that her children and grandchildren would much rather get on with their own lives than wait on hers to ebb out. Do people simply get too busy to care, or it is something the individual does or does not do in the prime of their lives that leaves them in my grandmother's sorry state. I wondered what would it take for someone to not end up the way she has.
Comments
This is a very common situation for many aged people in poor health. Wonder what she thinks...
xanindia - You are right. I would have been in this world but for me and so there must be gratitude. It is sad when someone you are supposed to feel close to feels so distant and remote (emotionally) that they could almost be a stranger. You have to wonder when and how that happened.
Rohini - It is sad but there must be a reason why this happens.My theory is that there is sometimes lapses on both sides of the equation. While we generally feel sorry for the one about to die but those that are left behind who could not feel the love that they should have felt are equally unfortunate.