Skip to main content

Parents Of Teens

Barabara Ellen takes exception with non-parents and parents of young children who take it upon themselves to advice POTs (Parents Of Teenagers) on the errors of their parenting ways - which is quite understandable.

However, she neglects to mention another kind of POT - the ones who have very good natured and well-behaved teens - the kinds that score straight As, go to church regularly, are engaged in a plethora of activities and have a clear plan for their future. In other words, the complete antithesis of kids who host and attend the wild Facebook parties Ellen writes about.
It is typical of the other POTs to tell such parents that their kids are over-compensating for some hidden (and obviously dreadful) issues by being so abnormally perfect. The fact they don't drip attitude like a "normal" teen is enough evidence of something being very wrong. They try to imply that unbeknownst to them, these clueless parents are harboring a severely disturbed kid who could snap suddenly and do terrible things - it is a ticking timebomb.

The best-case scenario, the all-knowing parent of a totally unmanageable teen says, may be that this "normal" kid has been programmed out of spirit, spunk and personality by control freak parents and would sink without a trace in the real world. The implication is somehow that the wild Facebook party crowd would get their act together auto-magically and become the Masters of the Universe when the time comes to conquer the world. Too bad the two sets of POTs rarely get to compare notes when their kids are in their 20s and 30s to see how everyone fared.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha...

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t...

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques...