Tales Of The Wierd

My friend K emailed this to me with a note saying "I thought you'd get a chuckle out of it". The profile below belongs to a 53 year old man who is divorced with a couple of teen-aged kids and looking to get hitched again. That he would see it fit to express his interest in a woman who has never been married before and is just over half his age, would probably prompt a "WTF !" reaction in most people (it certainly did in me). But what he has to say is just too precious not to share.

I am looking for a partner who is willing to settle in US, India or South Africa. Beauty is a must. Must be good cook I am not looking for a partner can't make up her mind. I don't want my partner be negatively influenced by family. My partner must be happy all the time I don't need depressed or PMSY. Thank you and looking for your message.

I wrote K back asking her to humor this man for a just a little bit. Tell him that she is taking lessons in gourmet cooking and will touch base with him when she is ready to put her education to use. She will be very glad to give up her thriving career in America to become a full-time, stay-at-home cook in any of the three countries he mentions though she would not hesitate one bit to follow him to Chad or Outer Mongolia should that be required.

She is still trying to figure the best way to cut loose from her family and friends in the US because they could only be a baleful influence on her marriage with him. What use would she have of such dead-weight in her life once she becomes his wife ?

Finally to end on a cheerful note, K could write she has never suffered from PMS but to preempt getting depressed, she will go on Prozac or some such pro-actively. In the end, marrying a man like him is any woman's dream come true and she would make sure she met or exceeded all his expectations. I am guessing K has no time or interest to play such ridiculous games so the rest of us will miss on some really big laughs.