Meeting By The Creek

After a long hibernation in the realm of singleness, I ventured out to meet someone recently. Introduced by a well meaning friend who thought we might be good together, I decided there could be worse ways to spend a Monday evening than answering a phone call from T. He turned out to be a great conversationalist and in a little while, I forgot that we were different in every way possible - color, culture, religion, profession, education, life experience and even politics. Yet, as I talked with T each evening for the rest of the week, there was more and more we found to like about each other. We were amazed that this was even possible and thanked the mutual friend who had got us connected.Then on a Saturday we actually met.

The chemistry was just as great as the mental connection - this was the stuff that made for perfect relationships - in the text book but never in real life. It was exciting to be with T but when we were quiet together it was an incredibly peaceful feeling. Before he left, T told me "You are a wonderful in many ways but what I like best is your honesty - I know what I see is what I will get. That is completely unique in my experience. I don't know any other woman I can say that about". I don't recall a man paying me a compliment that touched me quite as deeply. We parted ways, making plans to meet again the next weekend. Following well established dating game precedent, T did not call back the day after and I decided to end it promptly while the acquaintance was still new. It was time to wake up from a dream and get on with the day to day.

For a week, I felt like I was in my teens again - flirting, being silly and saying things that neither of us meant with any kind of seriousness. Yet because we had that spontaneous mental and physical spark, even the facetious became imbued with some deeper meaning. I believed T when he told me that I was unlike anyone he had met - we all want to believe we are special, enigmatic and unique. In such knowledge lies our salvation. If not, we would be mere cogs in an infinite wheel, with no reason or larger purpose to our lives; nothing to make us count and be of value to the world. To be told what we hold to be true about ourselves by someone we feel attracted to is the best kind of affirmation though it can be dangerously close to narcissism. T had invested a week of his life, giving this connection he had formed with me everything he had and that's all he was able to offer.

Short, intense, vibrant and beautiful - the stuff of great memories. We may remember that week and the Saturday when we met in a park, sat side by side on a rock and watched the minnows make ripples in a lazy creek. The sun had slanted just a little to make the water glitter, the breeze made my hair caress his face and allowed him to whisper into my ear. Everything was a little too perfect. T is a dating artist par excellence and I am an ingénue at best in this arena -  a match made in heaven. I was able to whet his jaded appetite and that brought out the best in him. I am sure he will go on to make many more conquests and add to his collection of relationship memories. In time, the names and faces of the women he has been with will blur, the details of the time he spend with them smudge around the edges. Sadly for him, despite all that magic that he is able to make, he may still be alone just as he has been for over two decades now since his last serious relationship.

Years from now I might remember T sending me a A.E. Housman poem and my response to him the form of my favorite Yeats - and that was merely day two. T offered profusely as only someone like him can and I received with intensity that is probably characteristic of me. In our hearts we knew it to be over even before our date was. "I guess this will be one of the many random things that have happened in my life" I told him. "You can blog about it" he laughed. And so here I am. This one is for you, T.