Perspective

A poem J sent to a well known children's magazine has been accepted for publication. She wrote this soon after DB and I got married and was in large part an outpouring of pain - she was having a hard time adjusting to a new way of life and the presence of a man in our home. We were talking today about how pain produces some of the best writing and J said "Then I will never be a writer - I haven't known as much pain as most people"

I thought that was an interesting observation being that J has actually gone through quite some upheaval in the last  ten years of her life. It turns out that she met a girl L, at her dance camp whose parents have been divorced twice and remarried. She has to divide time between two blended families and deal with adults being uncontrollably angry a lot of the time. She has clearly shared quite a bit about her life with J.

It was only a few weeks ago that J was complaining how she always had a schedule and there was not enough free, unstructured time in her day - and how we were not being fair to her as parents. The benchmark was some kids she knows who have no plan for the summer and can do as they please all they long. They also get to stay home all summer since the mothers don't go to work.

Held to that standard, DB and I were tyrants. It was interesting to see how the experience of doing something outside her comfort zone and meeting a group of kids she would not have otherwise met, has resulted in some serious recalibration. I don't know if she will get what I thought she might out of this particular camp, but I am glad it has given her new perspective.