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Imagined Outcomes

Read this quote in The Coddling of the American Mind

 What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. EPICTETUS

 Every part of it bears a huge significance for me. I have experienced the fright and dismay of external events beyond my control; consumed by the myriad of what-ifs and how many things could go wrong. The outcomes most dreaded seldom came to pass and all the energy was wasted in vain. The significance of the event was found to be greatly over-stated. A year or two after the fact, it was as if it had not occurred at all. One would think after several repeats of this same pattern, a person may learn something. 

 I have yet to see that happen with me. There are still triggers that can send me off on wild, unfounded tangents. What I have been able to control a bit better is the proliferation of such disturbance on to people around me that I love and care for. I am more likely to share my thoughts after the distress is past. The fact they are not being called upon to crisis manage enables them to think more coherently and often their counsel proves to be effective.

 I often recall my favorite quote by Swami Chinmayanada "Disappointment can come only to those Who make Appointment with the future". This was one of several I walked past every morning on my way to class in high-school. I don't remember the rest very well but this one remains etched in memory. Just that appreciation does not equal assimilation.

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