Interesting read from Pew Research Center on the challenges of being a teen in America. The last four years with J have been a roller-coaster and I was fortunate to have an even-keeled kid that was largely focused on what is next in her life. But I have heard stories about the struggles the article talks about. Some of my closest friends have very bright kids that as they say "not ready to launch" go to college for a variety of reasons.
The parents appear to be doing all the right things, they genuinely care about the kid and yet something in the ecosystem proves to be so destabilizing that nothing works anymore. It's almost like there is this mystery magic switch if triggered on time can really turn things around. But it seems impossible to find in that crazy period of a kid's life that high school tends to be. If things had moved by an hour or an inch the outcomes could be totally different. So the adults at their wits end trying to balance and re-balance the equation that can result in good outcome for their kid.
When I see a child with potential going to waste, my first instinct is to jump in and try to assist. I can hardly claim that my quixotic efforts to this end have yielded results. It only goes to prove that good intent and effort on the part of the adults in a kid's life is often not enough.
In my own very limited experience raising J, I have found that the quality of the friend group is a huge driver of outcomes in the kid's life. Next there is the critical role played by a few charismatic and influential teachers, other mentors and even relatives can contribute in the same way - J was very lucky to have some of those throughout her school years. If these two factors are favorable in the the child's life outside home, chances are the parent will be able get them to adulthood reasonably well.
There is also the matter of adapting your parenting style to suit the needs of the kid - I have found that to be a challenge just with one kid to raise because they grow and change as people so rapidly it is hard to keep pace. The level of difficulty grows exponentially with more than one kid as many of my friends have.
The parents appear to be doing all the right things, they genuinely care about the kid and yet something in the ecosystem proves to be so destabilizing that nothing works anymore. It's almost like there is this mystery magic switch if triggered on time can really turn things around. But it seems impossible to find in that crazy period of a kid's life that high school tends to be. If things had moved by an hour or an inch the outcomes could be totally different. So the adults at their wits end trying to balance and re-balance the equation that can result in good outcome for their kid.
When I see a child with potential going to waste, my first instinct is to jump in and try to assist. I can hardly claim that my quixotic efforts to this end have yielded results. It only goes to prove that good intent and effort on the part of the adults in a kid's life is often not enough.
In my own very limited experience raising J, I have found that the quality of the friend group is a huge driver of outcomes in the kid's life. Next there is the critical role played by a few charismatic and influential teachers, other mentors and even relatives can contribute in the same way - J was very lucky to have some of those throughout her school years. If these two factors are favorable in the the child's life outside home, chances are the parent will be able get them to adulthood reasonably well.
There is also the matter of adapting your parenting style to suit the needs of the kid - I have found that to be a challenge just with one kid to raise because they grow and change as people so rapidly it is hard to keep pace. The level of difficulty grows exponentially with more than one kid as many of my friends have.
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