I meet my friend T for lunch after four years and we both live in the same town. We had almost no contact during this time. We have plenty in common and have lots to talk about and yet we don't try harder to stay in touch. Almost every woman I am friends with fits this profile - they are unfailingly there for me in my time of need but can be totally unavailable on ordinary days. I told T she made me feel like a rescue project that could not be dropped until the job was done - she saw me out of my crisis and then checked out for years. She has been through more than one crisis of her own since I last saw her and it made me sad that I did not come to mind, that she did not want to reach out to me.
Made me wonder if I was too removed from her way of life to be any use when she was truly distressed. Even today when she told me about the tumultuous past two years, I did have trouble relating. The circumstances in my life where I have received valuable counsel from T were much more pedestrian. An average person would be able to understand the situation. T's life is infinitely more complex than mine and she would be right to presume that I can't really help her much. She would be better off shooting the breeze with her happy hour crowd, making self-deprecating jokes about her life. It would take the edge of the pain and make it more bearable. I am glad I saw her and was able to thank her for all she has done for me.
Made me wonder if I was too removed from her way of life to be any use when she was truly distressed. Even today when she told me about the tumultuous past two years, I did have trouble relating. The circumstances in my life where I have received valuable counsel from T were much more pedestrian. An average person would be able to understand the situation. T's life is infinitely more complex than mine and she would be right to presume that I can't really help her much. She would be better off shooting the breeze with her happy hour crowd, making self-deprecating jokes about her life. It would take the edge of the pain and make it more bearable. I am glad I saw her and was able to thank her for all she has done for me.
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