Crossing Lines

I had opportunity to attend Easter service at church with a dear friend this year. Neither of us is able to identify with the ritualistic aspects of our own religions, and rarely go to our places of worship. Consequently, our kids have a very tentative relationship with this very important part of their cultural roots. It is a problem we both acknowledge but have long struggled to remedy.

However, when we have on occasion, crossed over to the other's side and gone to a temple or church together, suddenly it seems to become easier to participate in the very rituals that we have no strong affinity to. Not belonging precludes the expectation to conform to accepted standards or come in with a level of familiarity. The person "from the tradition" functions in the role of a guide and is absolved from their own need to immerse.

I was made to feel very welcome at the church just as S has been at temples we have been to. The liberation that comes with being an outsider almost makes it easier to have a fulfilling experience. It's like being the child of demanding parents. No matter what you do, it may never be enough. But other parental figures may find this same child perfectly wonderful and without fault. In an other person's place of worship it is possible to find the equivalent of such a benevolent parental figure - one that is able to overlook your shortcomings and appreciate what is good about you.