This article on how the presumption of cheerfulness as a virtue is undoing America, makes for an interesting read. My favorite line was:
The aorta of the US economy pumps out optimism, positivity and cheerfulness while various veins carry back US dollars naively invested in schemes designed to get rich quick, emotionally speaking.
I was always uncomfortable by the superficial and insincere inquiry of how you are doing. The social contract in America is to not stress the person asking by dumping your problems on them. In return, they would keep it lite and cheerful even while on the edge of bankruptcy, terminal illness, loss of livelihood and more. You would both say "doing great!" and get on with your life.
I can count the number of times, when someone actually unburdened to me when I asked them how they are doing. It was an honor and privilege that they did and I have no doubt that they had to overcome fear of judgement and feel extremely vulnerable. These are also the people I count among my friends. But in the universe of people we know and deal with every day, this is a very small fraction. Most of our lives we are faking the good cheer that we are expected to and as the author so rightly points out, it makes us unable to cue into the sadness in the lives of others.
The aorta of the US economy pumps out optimism, positivity and cheerfulness while various veins carry back US dollars naively invested in schemes designed to get rich quick, emotionally speaking.
I was always uncomfortable by the superficial and insincere inquiry of how you are doing. The social contract in America is to not stress the person asking by dumping your problems on them. In return, they would keep it lite and cheerful even while on the edge of bankruptcy, terminal illness, loss of livelihood and more. You would both say "doing great!" and get on with your life.
I can count the number of times, when someone actually unburdened to me when I asked them how they are doing. It was an honor and privilege that they did and I have no doubt that they had to overcome fear of judgement and feel extremely vulnerable. These are also the people I count among my friends. But in the universe of people we know and deal with every day, this is a very small fraction. Most of our lives we are faking the good cheer that we are expected to and as the author so rightly points out, it makes us unable to cue into the sadness in the lives of others.
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