Ending Cycle

There is a brutal simplicity to This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin that is meant to punch any parent in the gut I suppose. When I read it, I think about parents I have known in my life including my own and also the kind of parent I have been myself. Many of my cousins have chosen not to have any kids exactly for the reasons Larkin cites. One of them said to me once that he wishes to end the bad cycle at him - do the morally responsible thing and not leave society heaving the burden of yet another broken person who cannot contribute their fair share. 

That was likely his way of describing how he viewed himself and the failings of his parents along the way that resulted in such outcome. On the scale of dysfunctional, broken, disturbed and more, C is hardly topping the charts. He failed to deliver the social markers of success, achieve age appropriate goals and such. If he had kids, they would have likely "failed" much the same way- "It deepens like the coastal shelf" as Larkin writes.

There is something fundamentally selfish and even delusional about desiring parenthood. You have to believe you are cut out for a very difficult job and will deliver good results. Not to mention it is a job you have likely not seen done particularly well, have no training to do better yourself and yet magically you assume once you have that baby the stars will align and you will do just fine. C and others like him lack such hubris. That makes them more rational, sensible and generous people.