Each year, the holidays throw up a fair share of surprises for me in the form of connections lost and found. This past year, someone I knew as friend who had suddenly stopped communicating with me, sent me greetings that I could not bring myself to respond to.
There was no specific event that triggered this hiatus in our communication and that made it all the more sad and confusing. If there was anything I had done that could be undone, I would gladly try to make amends. But there was no room for that and I could not fathom what this was all about. We have known each other for a decade now and then suddenly we had turned strangers. I fretted about it on and off for a few months, wondered if I should try to have a conversation - and I did try a few times to no avail. Then finally about three months ago, I decided it was time to move on.
There is a window of opportunity in the relationship between people then things are still pliable. One side would be willing to yield to the other, concede their pride and hurt feelings in the larger interests of friendship. About a month ago, I had passed that point. To me, D had turned irrelevant by then - I had processed the pain and rejection and come out the other end to accept life went on and D was no longer part of it.
So when on Christmas Day, I received D's usual, friendly holiday greetings, I could not bring myself to reply. There is nothing left for me to say - I remembered wistfully the last time I saw D and family for dinner. It was in their lovely home on a cool summer night. In the honor of my visit, they had opened a bottle of very old wine, the dinner was lovely and full of personal touches. But that was then and this is now. I missed my friend D but I suppose this too shall pass.
There was no specific event that triggered this hiatus in our communication and that made it all the more sad and confusing. If there was anything I had done that could be undone, I would gladly try to make amends. But there was no room for that and I could not fathom what this was all about. We have known each other for a decade now and then suddenly we had turned strangers. I fretted about it on and off for a few months, wondered if I should try to have a conversation - and I did try a few times to no avail. Then finally about three months ago, I decided it was time to move on.
There is a window of opportunity in the relationship between people then things are still pliable. One side would be willing to yield to the other, concede their pride and hurt feelings in the larger interests of friendship. About a month ago, I had passed that point. To me, D had turned irrelevant by then - I had processed the pain and rejection and come out the other end to accept life went on and D was no longer part of it.
So when on Christmas Day, I received D's usual, friendly holiday greetings, I could not bring myself to reply. There is nothing left for me to say - I remembered wistfully the last time I saw D and family for dinner. It was in their lovely home on a cool summer night. In the honor of my visit, they had opened a bottle of very old wine, the dinner was lovely and full of personal touches. But that was then and this is now. I missed my friend D but I suppose this too shall pass.
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