This winter break with J came home, I felt a tremendous need to cook for her - just about anything she missed while away in college. For the first few days she could hardly come up with anything she particularly craved. Not having a wish-list to work through left me feeling a bit lost and even sad. By the end of break, I had started to hear of a few things she did crave. It was a joy and relief to cook for her in a way I don't think I have experienced before. I don't know how many such opportunities I have left before she has her own independent life, doing her own thing.
My overzealous cooking reminded me of some of elderly relatives who have now passed on. When I visited them once in a great while, they made sure I was fed all of my favorite things. I remembered the look of joy on their faces as I ate a meal prepared for me with so much love and attention to detail. I was too naive then to understand the source of their happiness watching me eat. I felt nostalgic for those meals - some of the most memorable ones in my life. And I fondly recalled the grand-mothers and great-aunts who made them for me.
crossings as in traversals, contradictions, counterpoints of the heart though often not..
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