Reading this exchange with Prudie made me think about what keeps people monogamous. Seems like several factors have to been in place. Both parties should be relatively risk averse to begin with. Their relationship should score average and slightly better on most things so they can deal with what is less than average. The network of family and friends must be one that both value and wish to keep intact. The kids should be an equal priority for both. Each should bring some tangible value to the relationship that would be hard to replace. Finally, there should be some shared values whatever those might be.
When all these factors are in place, more likely than not people will stay faithful to each other simply because it is not worth anyone's while to stray. Considering what it takes, it does not appear to be that hard but it is still a very complex and delicate balance. If one of more factors start to fall out of tolerance, the equilibrium is challenged. And even in a perfect equilibrium when the unit works like a well-oiled machine, there is no guarantee people are truly happy with each other. They just don't see a logical path to a better state and so they stick with what is good enough.
In the case of this letter writer, it appears atleast based on the representations of the husband, that the parties score quite well on all factors but he is someone who is willing to take risk. Just that one thing is disturbing the equilibrium of the marriage.
When all these factors are in place, more likely than not people will stay faithful to each other simply because it is not worth anyone's while to stray. Considering what it takes, it does not appear to be that hard but it is still a very complex and delicate balance. If one of more factors start to fall out of tolerance, the equilibrium is challenged. And even in a perfect equilibrium when the unit works like a well-oiled machine, there is no guarantee people are truly happy with each other. They just don't see a logical path to a better state and so they stick with what is good enough.
In the case of this letter writer, it appears atleast based on the representations of the husband, that the parties score quite well on all factors but he is someone who is willing to take risk. Just that one thing is disturbing the equilibrium of the marriage.
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