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Unique Pain

P is my cousin and like a baby sister even though the complications of family on both sides have us semi-estranged for a long time. We used to be thick as thieves growing up and still carry fond memories from those early years. 

Yet the extended drift from each other's lives makes it difficult for us to be there for each other at our age, life circumstances. She is coping with a loved one being seriously ill and my efforts to reach out and be present seemed to fall flat. While I tried and she acknowledged the effort, she cannot find a way to include me in her grief. There may be others in her life who may offer her more solace or so I hope. 

Reading this essay about how grief is a unique and personal experience made me think of P. She seems to be the type that wants to be brave and soldier on. Reminding her of her troubles is not the way to go - it is not what she wants. She wants to be alone in her pain and act like all is well. That is her in the rest of her life too - she is intensely private and does not like to whine about anything. 

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