It is a beautiful spring day outside. Traffic very sparse and and except for the occasional runner, there was just me for a couple of hours. In the deserted school yard not far from where I live. some kids were playing basketball and tennis. Families had come out for air amid the desolation. I found myself listening to My Heart is a Ghost Town and thought why of all songs that one came to mind. It felt sadly apropos and apocalyptic despite trees in full bloom, wild flowers all around and the the bright blue sky.
This is not what the end of the world looks like. J is finally home and feeling lost like just about everyone she knows. Their journey into adulthood and independence has been placed on indefinite pause and that has got to feel incredibly suffocating. It will be a learning experience for me to navigate her through occasional pep-talks and steer her in the direction she wants to go, not feel like the world has totally spun out of control. In the meanwhile, I have no idea what the next day or month holds as much as I want to believe this too shall pass. Acting brave and confident around your kids is something all of us parents have to get very good at in the days to come.
crossings as in traversals, contradictions, counterpoints of the heart though often not..
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