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Little and Late

A former colleague and I caught up after a long time recently and conversation turned to counter-offers and why no one we know could cite an instance where it went well. Most people view it skeptically because getting a counter-offer can often highlight that you were invisible until you decided to leave. Your contributions were never seen, heard or promoted. There were used covertly by those who who used you to get ahead. No surprise then, the very same people will want to keep you around - it is part of their career plan.

Everything about this picture is wrong. For one thing you got direct evidence that you never mattered and never will. The love-fest that is usually part of the counter-offer deal will end the minute you say yes. My colleague made an interesting comparison - the recipient of a counter-offer is a like the long-suffering battered wife that never protests the abuse. One day she walks out and the husband immediately promises to amend his ways - though its unclear why he did not do exactly that in years preceding. We all know how it ends for women who believe this can actually happen and decide to stay back. Something recipients of counter-offers can learn from. It was a good analogy. 

I thought of one counter argument to this. Where a star performer is poached by another company for better money, position or both. The current employer never failed to recognize this person as an absolute asset but they don't have the resources the new employer does. So they may have a conversation about wish there was something we could do, if there was a way to help us both out. This is actually an honest, equal and heartfelt conversation that can result in some good outcomes for all concerned. 

Maybe in their new role with the bigger company, the employee may forge connections that will help their former employer. Perhaps they return on a later day to help the employer that treated them like the star that they were. The battered wife analogy does not hold in this situation - this is more an happy and empowered wife going on a girls-only vacation to recharge her batteries so she can bring her best self to the marriage.
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