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Raising Sameness

I went through a phase in J's elementary school days when homeschooling felt like a very attractive option. In hindsight, we both agree that would have been a bad decision for her - public school played a vital role in her social and academic life despite the sporadic disappointments and frustrations. Reading about pandemic pods brought those days to mind. I can see parents who are going through that phase deciding to pull the trigger because the times justify the action. In speaking with other parents over the years, I have learned that the yen to home-school is not so uncommon but the drivers could vary. In my case it was triggered from feeling endlessly overwhelmed and guilty about not giving the kid enough time. 

When I look back, it was more about me and less about J. I wanted to feel like a better parent and somehow homeschooling would help me achieve that goal. It was fed by a presumption that a well-intentioned and diligent parent and do it all and do it better than a public school where their kid will be lost in the shuffle. The trick is to learn how to stay above the fray, be heard over the noise and make the most of the resources the school provides. This is the life skill the kid will need in the real-world and the sooner they learn the better. If I had gone about my misguided venture of home-schooling J, she would have missed out on many formative experiences that shaped her life - friends and teachers both. These are the people who made J who she is - I only provided support along the way. It would be sad, if kids growing up today end up losing the best parts of the school experience to be substituted by a pod where one or other form of uniformity will doubtless grow. 

Easy for me to say I guess, having been fortunate to have sent J to public schools that bore no resemblance to what this article describes and having teachers there that were nothing like those in Waiting for Superman where I learned about the dance of the lemons. Ironically, those of us who are already getting the best deal out of the system are the most anxious to yank our kids out of it in hopes of "doing better" whatever that entails. 

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