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Toxic Positivity

 Learned a new phrase today - toxic positivity. It is described  as 

"..the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset or — my pet peeve term — ‘positive vibes,’” explains Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a clinical psychologist in Pennsylvania who specializes in, among other things, anxiety disorders and self-esteem.

Toxic positivity can take many forms: It can be a family member who chastises you for expressing frustration instead of listening to why you’re upset. It can be a comment to “look on the bright side” or “be grateful for what you have.”

I can't claim I have encountered this but the general idea makes sense. I happen to know a lot of young people with lives a lot less complicated than my own. Many only have a dog or a cat to worry about if that. They are not in a committed relationship yet and there are no kids. Home can be wherever the best apartment rental deal is. So despite the havoc being wreaked by the pandemic, their lives are relatively untouched - specially the ones that are gainfully employed. They can exude a lot of good vibes and positivity which I generally find invigorating. 

But it is hard to relate to a twenty something year old who ran his dog in the park over the weekend, did his laundry, Netflixed and chilled after because it was such a long week. That said, none of my younger friends would be dispensing platitudes like "be grateful for what you have" or "look on the bright side". I don't talk to them about what keeps me up at night or about problems they have no life experience to help with. Maybe that's why I don't experience the toxic element here.

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