Skip to main content

Preferred Birthday

Cool analysis of birthday data that shows 13th is not a date women want to give birth. They prefer to schedule around it. Comments from those in the field were pretty informative too:

The choice of when to induce is not based on staffing, but on convenience. For example, my hospital schedules a full day of c sections on Wednesday’s because the mothers will stay 3 days after the procedure and go home on Saturday morning, when the traffic is light and the family can enjoy the weekend together.

These decisions are absolutely a huge part of how deliveries are determined, and have been since about the 1950s, when women were routinely given scopolamine to remove their senses and memories of labor and then strapped down to prevent them from hurting themselves while waiting. Doctors back then made all of the decisions on timing themselves, based on their expertise but also their golf schedule and weekend plans. That idea of women being a passive part of their own labor decisions has continued through our current labor and delivery practices, with doctors deciding when it would be convenient to deliver

This reminded me of my own experience when J was born. I loved my doctor - she knew that my marriage was in a very bad place and I needed all the support I could get. On my last scheduled visit, Dr. B told me that she was going to be out at a conference on the day J was supposed to arrive. She asked if I would like to be induced so she could be there for the delivery. 

Her words filled me with an overwhelming panic. I was not ready for more variability and change in my life but did not want to play games with destiny either. It felt right that J should come into the world when she was good and ready and I should deal with whatever that meant for me. And so we did and it turned out she was ready a bit sooner than predicted so Dr. B was there with me as I had hoped and prayed for. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Part Liberated Woman

An expat desi friend and I were discussing what it means to return to India when you have cobbled together a life in a foreign country no matter how flawed and imperfect. We have both spent over a decade outside India and have kids who were born abroad and have spent very little time back home. Returning "home" is something a lot of new immigrants like L and myself think about. We want very much for that to be an option because a full assimilation into our country of domicile is likely never going to happen. L has visited India more often than I have and has a much better pulse on what's going on there. For me the strongest drag force working against my desire to return home is my experience of life as a woman in India. I neither want to live that suffocatingly sheltered existence myself nor subject J to it. The freedom, independence and safety I have had in here in suburban America was not even something I knew I could expect to have in India. I never knew what it felt t

Cheese Making

I never fail to remind J that there is a time and place for everything. It is possibly the line she will remember me by when I am dead and gone given how frequently she hears it. Instead of having her breakfast she will break into a song and dance number from High School Musical well past eight on Monday morning. She will insist that I watch and applaud the performance instead of screaming at her to finish her milk and cereal. Her sense of occasion is seriously lacking but then so is mine. Consider for example, a person walks into the grocery store with the express purpose of buying detergent because they are fresh out of it and laundry is only half way done. However instead of heading straight for detergent, they wander over to the natural foods aisle and go berserk upon finding goat milk on sale for a dollar a gallon. They at once proceed to stock pile so they can turn it to huge quantities home-made feta cheese. That person would be me. It would not concern me in the least that I ha

Under Advisement

Recently a desi dude who is more acquaintance less friend called to check in on me. Those who have read this blog before might know that such calls tend to make me anxious. Depending on how far back we go, there are sets of FAQs that I brace myself to answer. The trick is to be sufficiently evasive without being downright offensive - a fine balancing act given the provocative nature of questions involved. I look at these calls as opportunities for building patience and tolerance both of which I seriously lack. Basically, they are very desirous of finding out how I am doing in my personal and professional life to be sure that they have me correctly categorized and filed for future reference. The major buckets appear to be loser, struggling, average, arrived, superstar and uncategorizable. My goal needless to say, is to be in the last bucket - the unknown, unquantifiable and therefore uninteresting entity. Their aim is to pull me into something more tangible. So anyways, the dude in ques