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Heart Break

My young friend, P tells it much better but again she has suffered her first heartbreak in her teens. It was early January this year when she was waiting to meet a professor. They had an appointment and she was a bit early. Instead of waiting out side his office, she stepped out to the main lobby where there was more seating and a much nicer view. It so happened that she sat across from R who was there to meet someone else. They struck up a conversation. R was working on his masters thesis in rural entrepreneurship after having worked a couple of years in a successful automotive start-up. He was ready to take a pause from that life, where ideas were always well-funded, obstacles were removed by money and connections and it was reasonably easy to make an impact. He wanted to see what if the system offered limited to no support, did good ideas find a way to thrive.

Everything about R struck a deep chord with P that morning. They exchanged numbers and promised to stay in touch. And so they did. In a couple of months it went from a chance encounter to many deep conversations about things P had never shared with anyone in her life. She found R attractive and relaxing to be around but was not sure this was a relationship quite yet. The more time they spent together, the more real it felt - R was not like any other guy she had known. Then one day the conversation about what next happened. He was graduating that summer, P was still an undergrad. 

They both agreed they would do their best to spend summer together - find work in the same city. That decision was effortless. They identified a couple of cities that offered ample opportunities for both of them and agreed to get started on the job hunt. For P it would just be for the summer, for R it would be a longer commitment. I spoke to P a couple of times in this part of her life - I could hear the joy and confidence in her voice. She was moving into the next stage of her college years - finding a man she wanted to spend time, learn and grow with. 

Then in March the pandemic hit. The plans for summer would no longer work. R would return to work for the company he had been with before - it was his easiest and safest bet given that all his job interviews had been cancelled. P realized her summer internship would now be online. When she asked me what I thought she should do, I asked if she felt ready to find a place together for the summer with R. Since work was remote for both of them, the world was their oyster. 

It was too early and this felt like a very serious move - to quarantine together. P could not see herself doing it. R did not want to push her to make any decision she was not comfortable with. They decided not to carry the pain of a long distance relationship for an unknown period of time in a pandemic and parted ways. P told me if that had been love, she did not have time to process her feelings because it ended so soon and so suddenly. She wanted the wound to scab over quickly so she would not continue to mourn what could not be, so this was the best way - pretend that R had been a beautiful winter dream that melted away in spring. 

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