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Two Birds

Saw this infographic linked to something I was reading and it made me pause. In the past year, which for me started on a high note, I have been through every part of the spectrum. Fortunately, so far the worst of it has been rare. But there are days when I could have been worked up about everything I cannot control. My mother is in severe pain from a dental issue that in normal circumstances would be simple visit to the dentist and a fix. These days, she is afraid to make that visit so she is alternating been tolerating the pain and being on pain medication, She says no one cares about social distancing and or being diligent about wearing a mask. The elderly are the most fearful and do what they can to stay safe which means being stuck at home with no end in sight. My parents on most days sound like they are coping. Even during those weeks when one or both of them were feeling under the weather. They soldier on knowing there are no other options. I often think of them pacing around their small apartment like two birds in a cage waiting for some the day they may be free again to fly, 

When I am having a difficult day myself, thoughts of my parents intensifies the feeling of despair and panic. In all my adult years, this is the first time I have felt completely inadequate as the person with responsibility for them. Down the street from where I live, there is an assisted living facility. Every day when I go for a walk, I see the same grey car parked outside, There is a sticker on its rear window that I recognize. It is an adult child like me who comes to visit her parent every evening. I see her walk in with things when I am headed out. Her car is still waiting there an hour later. These days, I often think about how lucky that parent is. Before the pandemic hit, I was still taking my walks, that car was still coming by every evening but it never triggered the image of two birds restless in a cage like it now does. 

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