I learn a lot from young people all the time. One kid I have known since her teens, is in her mid-twenties now. She's been going steady with a guy for a few years and they have been living together for over a year. In the early days, she was very excited about him and talked about how he was too perfect to be true.
As our lives grew busier, I heard less and less from her but even when we talked much less about her guy. I assumed it was a sign of a good and comfortable relationship where much more was private than it had been in the early days. Recently she spoke about wanting out of what appears to be a comfortable but not exciting life situation with this man. She very much appreciates the value of what she has and is by no means ungrateful. Yet, she just can't see the rest of her life with this person.
Around her age, I found myself in very similar shoes - though in my case, I experienced it as a high degree of overall unhappiness that never went away - not even on the good days. Nothing was so broken that I had to leave the marriage with my few month old baby and yet that is what I did. So far, I have not regretted my decision. That is not to say, I never will and definitely that is not the right decision for everyone. But I know all to well that feeling of numbness, waking up every morning and wondering if the days will unfold ad nauseum to the unrelenting hopelessness.
I knew back then that it is possible for a person to wake up feeling positive about their day, generally see a path to attaining atleast some of their life dreams. And I knew I wanted to experience that - even if it came at a significant cost. I did not advise my young friend one way or the other though she knows my story, Only she knows the truth about her relationship and her level of satisfaction with it. Only she knows how high a price she will be willing to pay for a chance to have other options, for the story of her life to have other possible endings.
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