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Bad Counsel

Interesting how social norms are being applied to a question that resonates with many of us. In America it is very possible to drift apart from people when the context of your friendship is gone. For many of us it is the workplace where we meet people and become friends with them. During the span of a decade, you and this work friend would have changed 2-3 jobs and moved atleast once if not more. 

These things are normal. The young the demographic the higher their mobility. So the person who asked this question about her Asian friend may have fallen out of touch with the individual for some of these reasons and not because they are a bigot. I think it is to their credit that they though about their Asian friend recently and felt the need to express solidarity, concern and support. That is laudable I would say. But clearly the social norms of the day do not give "Johno" any credit. They are being told to to cease and desist on the urge to reach out:

But if you haven’t been in touch with your friend in years, contacting her now may seem more like racial profiling to her — “Hey, I know an Asian American!” — than personal support.

I think as a minority person of color I have the right to opine on this idiotic piece of wisdom that the columnist has proffered. If  it were to be a lot of desis were being racially profiled and attacked, and this was being regularly reported in the news, I would not be in the least offended if people who I had fallen out of touch with for a decade or more, thought of me and reached out to say so. Unfortunately the advise of the columnist is the prevailing wisdom of the day so people will not reach out even if that's their first instinct from fear that I would think they are racist. Such a tragedy all around - so much easier to just let people act human.

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